What to do… when your heart wants the person your brain tells you not to?
Some of you know I have been on a spiritual crusade to learn more about the various beliefs people hold. The journey thus far has been very interesting as friends have shared with me their personal faith and beliefs, resulting is some thought-provoking discussions.
Tthe opportunity was presented to further my research into Islam, and I spent the afternoon at the Canadian Islamic Centre having a very open discussion with one of their staff. She was happy to share Muslim beliefs and culture with me, answered all my questions happily and honestly, and even invited me to watch asr (afternoon) prayer. And at the end of the day we called each other “friend”.
Canada (and many other developed countries) are home to a vast array of religions, cultures and nationalities. As this will likely only continue to grow, we have two choices: to allow our lack of knowledge to breed miscommunication and further animosity, or to learn about one another with an open heart. I certainly have a better understanding of many Muslim norms and will no longer shake my head when I see a woman wearing hijab.
This quote from Paulo Coelho sums up my thoughts on spirituality and religion:
To believe in your choice you don’t need to prove that other people’s choices are wrong.
Category: Spirituality
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Some days, it’s just nice to be reminded that someone wants you.
Category: Men
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So I was just wishing my friend a happy champagne birthday (28 on the 28th) and thinking, phew it’s a good thing I’m born on the latest possible day and have such a long time until my champagne b-day… Then I realized it’s only three years away.
Category: Uncategorized
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I think being a parent should be a privilege, much like a career. Because it basically is. When a person brings a child into the world, they need to be committed to preparing that child to be an adult. And not just an adult, but a productive member of society. Giving their time, their love and their dedication to developing that child into a good person from birth right through the rest of their life.
On one of my bike rides this week, I saw graffiti painted on someone’s back fence. I know this would be no big shock for those of you living in cities, but I live in a lovely (upscale, if you don’t mind me saying so) village.
Where the hell were that kid’s parents when he or she was disrespecting a fellow citizen’s personal property? Where have they been all that kid’s life when they should have been instilling character in their child?
Probably at work. Probably making money so they could buy that kid video games that would keep him or her entertained so they didn’t have to play with the child or teach them.
When did it become acceptable to bring a child into the world and then essentially abandon them?
Where are the parents these days?
Category: Family, Men, Women
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Being querulous when the sun is shining, the sky is blue and it’s destined to hit 20 today is really hard! Thank you, spring, for returning!
Instead, I will leave you with a couple of excerpts from Eat Pray Love, a book that has me doing some deep thinking these days.
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts in the same way you select what clothes you’re gonna wear every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control. Drop everything else but that. Because you can’t learn to master your thinking you are in deep trouble forever.” – Quote from Richard in Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Category: Uncategorized
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I have been tagged by Stacy in a post this afternoon. Today we are playing: five questions, five answers.
Where were you five years ago?
~Finishing up my last month working at NALF
~Packing up my apartment in Colorado
~Missing my family
~Spending my weekends at CSU and estate auctions
~Planning new business ventures
Where would you like to be five years from now?
~Traveling with the seasons
~Working less, experiencing more
~Loving with an open heart
~Surrounded by people I love
~Planning new business ventures
What was on your to-do list today? (or is!)
~print pics for a Mother’s Day present
~submit project proposals
~pick up printing
~take dinner to Grandma
~read
What snacks do you enjoy?
~nachos
~cheese & crackers
~ice cream
~cereal
~chocolate covered nuts
What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?
~Give back to youth, community, agriculture and research organizations
~Invest in land – lots of it – and keep it in agriculture
~Take care of my family, friends and those in need
~Travel
~Volunteer full time
And I’m tagging:
Category: Uncategorized
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I realize that’s a bit of a comical title considering my age, but I’m convinced there is a wide gap between people my age and the group 5-10 years younger than us.
Is it just me or have good manners, social responsibility and respect for your fellow man been lost between Generations X and Y? It seems there is a good reason for calling “X” the Generation Me.
You see examples of this change every day – people in their late 20’s holding doors for their elders on the heels of someone in their early 20’s dropping the door in front of an elder; a tremendous decline in the number of people who volunteer between the two age groups; the new “swarming” phenomenon that has resulted in brutal beatings and even deaths of authority figures and elders.
It frightens me.
Last weekend the annual country music festival in my Alma Mater’s town took place for the 19th year in a row. Just five years ago, this was a celebration of good music, the end of classes and the many friendships made during the school year. Everyone had a good time while looking out for their friends and neighbors and paying tribute to the talented musicians who graced the stage. This year, one of the performers received a concussion and 24 stitches from someone in the crowd who threw a glass bottle at his head. Another singer was disrupted by someone who snuck past security and got on stage with her – uninvited.
It’s hard to believe those kids’ morals and friends didn’t stop them from that poor behavior. And yes, I’ll call them kids. They don’t deserve to be called adults.
Where did the world go wrong in just five years?
What can we do to re-instill these values in the next generation?
Category: Family, Men, Women
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If you meet someone whose personality conflicts with yours, you are probably going to walk away and not give them another thought, right? So why is it when we have an irreconcilable conflict with someone we are related to, we put so much time and effort into trying to keep that relationship?
Brothers. Sisters. Parents. Aunts. Uncles. Cousins. Even grandparents occasionally.
Holiday gatherings are rooted in tradition, generally involving large meals with family. Often served with sides of stress and hard feelings because of strained family relations. And when it’s all over we feel like terrible people, having had our worst traits boil to the surface and spill over like poison.
What if we put into practice the old adage that “friends are the family we choose?” Would we be happier not only at holiday gatherings, but every day? We would no longer worry about whether Aunt A was going to insult our turkey, or whether Uncle B was going to ask again when it’ll be time to settle down. We could enjoy time and a meal with the people we choose to have in our lives. The people who bring out the best in us.
What if every day we stopped wasting negative energy trying to keep good relations with our bad relations, and instead multiplied positive energy by sharing our best with friends who enhance our lives?
I’m not saying anyone should write off all their family members. My brother is one of my best friends and I would choose to have him in my life whether we were siblings or not. Keep the treasure, lose the trash.
People are people, whether they are family, friends or strangers. We should love all people, but should we give some preferential treatment based on blood?
Category: Family
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I knew when I told him I don’t want children that he might very well walk away. But when he did – not just because he thought he wanted kids, but because I took the choice away from him – it was a big lesson. One that I’m still not certain what to do with.
He said he would be ok with not having kids if it was because his partner wasn’t able to, but because I would choose not to have them, that wasn’t acceptable.
So essentially if I was a manipulative, lying bitch, if I had played the “I’m not sure” card and then made sure I never conceived, a guy would be ok with that.
Instead, for being honest and up front, I get dumped every time.
Because guys all think they want kids. They romanticize having a family, not realizing what it actually means to have one.
- When you have kids, you become fully and constantly responsible for another human life. Every hour of every day.
- You have to be prepared to sacrifice everything for them if it’s required.
- The freedom you used to have to pursue dreams and ideas no longer exists as the needs of the family come first.
- And then there is the enormous financial cost, estimated between $152,862-$269,520 per child (according to online resources)
But men seldom experience the extent of any of these things because they are usually the ones who walk out the door to work in the morning, and come home at night to eat, watch TV and sleep. Seldom is the father the parent who gets up with the kids all night every night, who cleans up after everyone. Not often does the father give up his career and friends to put the children first. He might feel the pinch of financial constraint, but it’s usually the mother who has to figure out how to stretch every dollar to make ends meet.
And at the end of the day the kids will do anything to gain their father’s attention and approval, seldom appreciating their mother and even purposefully breaking her heart.
Men seldom think about these things.
And so they will forgo a woman who makes them laugh, makes them think, makes them dream and helps them achieve, a woman who makes them completely and utterly happy – all for the potential of something they think they want but don’t totally understand. Just so they are never told “no”.
Category: Men
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